Closed my eyes so that I could see.

In my previous post I spoke about transitioning from my year of " Completeness" to my year of Purpose. When I was writing that piece,  I thought I saw the significance of it in totality, but like everything in this walk with my Majesty, there is always more to it than my natural sight can see.

So if I am now in a season of purpose then surely I am where I am meant to be. Sounds pretty straight forward doesn't it? Well I would like to take a deeper look at what this " being where I am supposed to be" means. Well it simply means I am on the right track to God's will in my life, for He is the one who has given me purpose( sorry to sound like Justin B there, but you get what I mean), if I was not then I know for sure He would make sure I get out of there. See every-time  I end up or ended up being angry or sad or resentful I know I was in the wrong place, with the wrong person/people, at the wrong time, doing the wrong thing. Although things around me are not perfect, I feel a sense of serenity and joy in my heart, you know why....... Because I know where I have been, and I know that is not where God wanted me to be, I know this because all He wants to do is protect my soul so I can stay in connection with Him, and where I have been there was practically no soul to connect with, because I was slowly killing it by allowing external factors take charge and instead of ignoring them and feeding my soul, I ignored my soul and fed the eeeeky stuff. ( You will have an idea of what I am talking about if you go back to when I started sharing my journey). 

The best feeling in the whole wide world is knowing that the God whom we serve is the same God we depended on before we were even born ( Psalm 71:6), DEPENDED ON BEFORE WE WERE EVEN BORN, WHAAAAAT!!!!  Surely this means we have nothing to fear when we are where God wants us to be because He knows, that we depend on Him therefore He will provide, so we should not complain. Instead we should close our eyes to the things we see and open them to the things unseen. Instead of complaining about  our circumstances ( Provided God is the one who placed us strategically and not situations we placed ourselves), find hope in that He is our Rock and fortress ( Psalm 71:3), He is the Rock in which we should live. we can fully depend on Him. So we need to stop trying to get ourselves out of situations through what is normal to the world, we are not of this world, so lets stop behaving like we are.

Let us be thankful in that when we are in complete pursuit of the Lord, He is doing the same, no as a matter of fact He is doing MORE. Let us praise Him in that irregardless of how far we push things, He never lets us go, if anything He pulls us even harder towards Him ( trust me I can be a rebel and boy does He reel me back fast fast, a Fathers love). Let our confidence in Him grow with each day. " Your righteousness reaches to the heavens, O God. You have done great things" ( Psalm 71:19). So close your eyes so you can see clearer, silence the voices so you can communicate effectively, open your heart so He can fill that void. He is about to do great things in your life.

That's a Fathers love. *POW WOW*

20 Gr8: Transitioning from my year of completion to my year of purpose

What a year 2016 has been, like my broer said " the year of many firsts"... Shadi you were right. So many changes, many which I have welcomed and others which I didn't...at first. I give thanks to God because He has reminded me just how miraculously and amazingly I have been made. Not to brag or anything but, I am His after all.

I have always thought I was one who was pretty comfortable with change, until change really took place. I mean lets face it, life had been a routine for me for the past +/-6 years. Till this year, I could hear Gods voice telling me to move, because if I didn't I would't make it... in more ways than one, trust me it was His voice because He began to set things in motion on my behalf. This was both literally and spiritually. I had to literally  pack my bags and start anew in a place I have never lived or intended to ( by the way Italy I am coming for you)and I had to "move" spiritually, oh boy and I thought leaving home was the hardest part of this "movement", I couldn't have been more wrong. So there I was in a new city, new job, new opportunities, I was set, or so I thought. All that I had suppressed in my year of completion ( turning 27)came gushing in. Reality kicked in, emotions got stirred and i found myself in pieces, pieces that I dint't break, pieces that I didn't take away, pieces that didn't belong. Crazy right? I mean I landed a fantastic job that suits my personality and allows me to go where I want to... but still "broken".

See the thing I love about God is that no matter how many pieces I feel I may be in, He reminds me that I am  not broken,the pieces in my life puzzle are merely misplaced, placed in the wrong place therefore they do not fit making the puzzle picture appear to be broken or I am adding pieces from another puzzle that were not meant to be there in order for my puzzle to be complete. Guys I am not perfect, as a matter of fact I will never be therefore will never claim to be, but on thing I can tell you is that He continuously restores me and comforts me so that I will be able to comfort others, so that He can restore them.

With that said I have a confession to make: I have had to ask God many times to take away what I know is my weakness, which is not being able to let go of people who have let go of me. This was due to the fear of suffering loss, once I care about a person I like many believe that they will be in my life forever, because I know my intentions for having them in my life are pure. So when their ill intentions are revealed it hurts having to cut them off, because with me once I cut, it's forever, knowing someone I once cared about and loved will no longer be a part of my life affects me in a big way, at times I wish I was like some people who can easily walk away, man what bliss that would be... but I am not so God had to make sense of all the relationship loses I have experienced ( friendships and situationships included, hahahahah.) He took me to 1 Pet 1:2, " God the father knew you long ago and chose you to live holy lives. With the Spirits help so that you are obedient to Jesus Christ and are sprinkled with His blood." I would like to take a look at the word "HOLY", this is used to describe moral perfection, but I love the fact that is is also describes someone or something that is sanctified and set apart for divine service.

See God chose you and I with purpose for a purpose, our purpose is to live holy lives. What this means is that whatever stops you from living a holy life, He needs to cut it. For me my  hurt was what stopped me from living a holy life for a while. I now know all I need to do is ask Him, it is not rocket science, ask Him to make me holy, which requires me to be disciplined. You need to be ready for this if you want your life to be transformed, be willing to do whatever He says no matter how uncomfortable, difficult or heartbreaking it may feel, feelings are temporary, Gods will in your life is permanent.

I am going through my process in order to fulfill my purpose, I am divinity in motion. Join me.

Our Daddy loves you and I so much. *POW WOW*

Loving myself.....the most terrifying thing for me

One would think that loving yourself would come naturally, well it most definitely does for some people. I guess that is why we like to emphasize that you should love others as you love yourself. This would mean that no matter what ,you will be there, showing them that irregardless of what may have happened or happens you are not going anywhere...That is love. I wish someone had said to me to love myself as I love others. It was a very difficult pill to swallow when it became apparent to me that I don't really love myself, not the way I am meant to anyway. It took them saying " I love you Ladi and I don't like seeing you hurt."

When you love someone you do not want to see them hurting or you wouldn't  just sit back and allow anyone to hurt them let alone be that person who hurts them. This I knew about myself, it upset me to see someone I love hurting, so much so that I would wish it were me hurting and not them, my reasoning was because I can deal with my hurt and not anyone else's,  I recently  found this  to be a lie because I do not deal with hurt at all. I have no idea how I made that to seem okay in my head ( see why managing your mind is important?) Why did I find it okay for me to hurt? Why did I make sense of someone hurting me? Why did I allow someone to take me for a fool when clearly their caring words was nothing but that...WORDS, I learnt the truth through their actions and boy do I believe them now. In all fairness I take responsibility for being an enabler, I take responsibility in that had I known my worth, they would have not had the opportunity to treat me less than what I am worth. " Do not speak badly of yourself. For the warrior within hears your words and is lessened by them" David Gemmell. This is basically what was happening with me. " Ladi you are not worth it, you are not worth that persons love." So I believed it and so I began living that way, accepting the "scraps" I was given.

Let me put it this way, say you bought a pair of Steve Madden shoes and a pair of no name brand, both aesthetically appealing, but because you know how much you spent on each pair  you are going to take care of the other more than the other, simply because you know how much they are worth. Now I am talking about money, so imagine just how much more you are worth, I mean you were BLOOD bought. But you already know that don't you? I mean I knew that when I was born again, so I ask myself why did I allow people to mistreat such a valuable being? Simple, I did not love myself because I did not UNDERSTAND my worth. I did not fully understand what Jesus went through for me, had I then there is no way I would have let  some people stay as long as they did in my life or beg for them to. If they did not see ME, they never would. 

All good and well that I am reading the word and being equipped so that I am able to fulfill my purpose and be a part of the best Kingdom ever, but what good is it to me that I do not wisen  up and see things for what they are and not what I hope they will be, calling a spade a spade. The kind of self love I speak of is not the pompous kind of love. It is the kind of self love that you feel towards yourself once you realise and understand what you cost. Who was sacrificed so that you can gain wisdom straight from the source, and truly cherish the gift you are through understanding who truly loves you, and if you want to be like Him you too honey should start loving you. ( Prov 19:8). For those who do not see your worth thus do not know how to love you, let it burn.

Now for a person who is learning to love them self I need to continuously remind myself, I am not my drunken times, I am not a rebound, I am not the convenience, I am not that failed relationship, I am not that poor girl whose father committed suicide, I am not desperate to be kept around, I am not January 9th 2012. As a matter of fact: " I will give thanks to you because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this." ( Psalm 139:14) I am a miracle, I am worth my love, I am worth loving. 

Let Gods love be your compass in all that you do.*POW WOW*

He love you and I so much. 

Godliness vs Goodness & Holiness vs Happiness

At first glance you would think there is not much difference between godliness and goodness or holiness and happiness, but if you look deeper you will begin to see that one carries more weight than the other.

See the biggest difference between the words to me is that one is what God wants for us and the other is what we want for ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that God does not want us to be happy or have goodness in our lives. What I am saying is that He would rather have us holy because holiness is not attached to a thing or a person, it is attached to Him. Allow me to give you an example, think about what you would ask God for in order for you to be happy in accordance to you...Now tell me if that happiness is not attached to a thing or a person. Okay now think of something that you think you can ask God for that will bring goodness into your life... Is that goodness attached to a thing or a person? See the difference in what we want and what God wants for us is that what He wants for us is designed to strengthen, support and validate His existence in our lives, as opposed to the quick fixes we as humans want that are not robust in order to withstand obsolescence over an extended period of time. The reason why we don't always get what we ask for is because it is not in line with Gods perfect will for us.

God is more concerned with your holiness than your happiness, He wants to establish an intimate relationship so that even when things around you seem to be falling apart , you remain confident in that He is holy and He is devoted to complete the work He has started in you, provided you too are devoted to what you are set out to do. It is easy to remain holy when you are happy and things are going smoothly, but what happens when you are unhappy and are faced with disabling challenges? Will you conform to a quick fix or will you hold onto Gods word as it is a promise from Him to you? Not to scare you but imagine if God was easily moved and acted when He was in His feelings every time we did something that made Him unhappy... Luckily for us we serve a God who is loyal and follows through on His word. Think it is time we all take up the challenge and strive to be more like Him. 

A godly relationship is what God wants to have with you and I. He wants to show us that what we ask for at times is less than what He can give, because all He provides is according to His divine and perfect will. " Are you looking for great things  for yourself? Don't look for them because I'm going to bring disaster on all people, declares the Lord. But wherever you go I will let you escape with your life." ( Jer 45:5). Sometimes we ask God for things which we assume will be good for us, I challenge you to ask Him for wisdom as opposed to wealth because through your wisdom you will be equipped to produce wealth, ask Him to make you more holy as opposed to more happy, because through His holiness you will be happy, ask Him to influence you so that you can become more godly as opposed to good, because through your godliness others will see your goodness shine for His glory. Learn to ask God for things of the Kingdom and the things of the earth shall be added unto you.

Gods love for you has no limit, you were blood bought honey *POW WOW* 

Manage your mind

Forget finding yourself, find Jesus and allow Him to introduce you to the real you through His truth.

I've been through situations that have left me feeling gutted, basically hollowed me out, leaving me feeling empty. My mind would tell me to take time out to find myself and reinvent Pheladi. The thing I didn't like about "finding myself" was that I only identified with the negative perceptions people had of me and their actions towards me. So " finding myself" only intensified my feeling of being lost. It took away my freedom because my heart became set on all the wrong things. I began trying to fix what was "wrong" with me according to man, I grew tired of having to prove myself to anyone in order to gain approval or acceptance. There had to be more to life than being stuck in a cycle where I was enslaved by my own thoughts and the thoughts of others about me. Then it hit me, I actually hold the key to the chains that I willingly put on myself... I control my mind, I have the power to start a process in which will enable me to be free of all that is not of me, the real me. I just needed the correct guidance.

Gaining control of what I allowed myself to think about gave me a sense of peace, things that I once freely yielded to surely couldn't hold me captive unless I allowed them. An un-managed mind leads to unnecessary pressure. What I was believing about myself was not true, but because I wallowed so much in it I started believing it which resulted in me living it... a complete lie. But because my daddy loves me, He reminded me that who I THINK I am is not as important as who I BELIEVE Jesus is. He endured opposition from sinners so that I don't become tired and give up ( Heb 12:3). Yes I don't have the strength and stamina to free myself, but my hope is found in knowing the truth and that is found in Gods word. His word will discredit every single lie that has been plaguing your mind. " God didn't spare His own Son but handed Him over to death for all of us. So He will also give us everything along with Him" ( John 8:32)- Peace.Man the greatest wonder of all times is the love that was displayed on that cross at Calvary.

One has to be relentless in focusing their mind on God and His word on their lives, that will bring them freedom and the only way this can be achieved is through equipping their minds by reading His love story to us. You cannot find yourself by yourself, you didn't make you. God made you therefore He is the only one who can reveal your true identity to you. The truth truly does set you free, God sets you free. 


Let love lead, let God lead, His love for you is real. *POW WOW*

My covenance with God

I got reminded of how serious God takes His covenance with His children. How His promises never fail. How this blog is not just a blog, it is in fact an utterance of the truth, His truth in my life. With that said I would like to encourage you to continue in trusting in Him, if  you don't, begin to open up your heart and allow Him to not only tell you just how trust worthy He is, but to show you just how trust worthy He is.

Allow me to tell you just how God reminded me of just how " O,O,O" ( Omnipotent, Omnipresent and Omniscient) , He really is. I was driving back from a community meeting this past Sunday, when the car I was driving behind hit a stationary car which had also been involved in an accident. I basically had to go into the lane with the on-coming traffic to avoid more wreckage. I landed on the gravel to the side of the road, mind you I was on a national road so I was not exactly driving 60km/h. I know it all happened very fast,but in my head everything was happening in slow motion.When all the dust settled I realised what a mess it was on the road, to my surprised nothing happened to the car I was driving and I was hundreds. Can I just mention which song had been playing, wait for it, wait for it.... " You hold me now", by Hillsong United. Man I wept like a baby, my God is OMNIPRESENT! See back in 2012 I was involved in a fatal car accident, the physical healing was the easy part, it was the emotional healing that was the big problem. I distinctly remember asking God to protect me from  ever experiencing what I had experienced.  Four years later I can testify that He answered my prayer. Man it feels so good knowing that a prayer request doesn't have an expiry date. My God holds me now and forever.

It is so amazing to know that God never takes a day off, a lunch break or any other break for that matter. He is everywhere, knows everything and has never-ending power. I am in complete awe of such a magnificent God and I get to call Him my father, my friend, my king, my protector and my provider. Knowing that He is ALWAYS involved in my life is the most secure feeling I have ever experienced in my life and wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING in this world. God promises us that His plan for us is not to harm us but to prosper us, ( Read Jer 29:11). In whatever situation you are in you need to silence the noise and listen to what God is saying you must do in that situation, ( Jer 29:4-9). The Lord encourages the people of Jerusalem who were held captive to continue living normally under abnormal circumstances. He encourages them to prosper and not allow what the enemy brings onto them rattle them, they must just keep focus on Him because He is the truth, the way and the life. Let us be encouraged in that as long as we whole heartedly seek the Lord, we will find Him, " When you look for me, you will find me", ( Jer 29:13). I found Him when I looked to Him for divine protection. 

Prayer truly does allow God to work in our lives, be steadfast in your praying, He hears you and He does answer you.

Gods love for you is infinite. *POW WOW*

In Partnership with Elohim

As a person with really bad balance,I learnt during my gym sessions that I needed to develop a method that was going to keep me steady while I lunged.What I found worked perfectly for me, was staying focused on a stationary object as I did my lunges. That way I would be able to walk in a straight line and not look like a dud falling all over the place.

Call me crazy but this got me  thinking about my relationship with God, I came to a very big realisation( This walk with Christ is truly an adventure, you are bound to discover something new at every corner you take). Anyhow as I was saying... I realised that lately the noises had become a little louder, the waves had become more violent and I had become helluva uneasy when it came to certain things in my life. The reason for all of this was because my focus was placed on everything happening around me as opposed to God. I had lost my balance because I had lost sight of my focal point by concentrating on matters that were not of Kingdom business, Oh, oh! All the emotions that I allowed to take over me and the challenges began tossing me around and I was beginning to get " motion sickness". All the stress had taken away the peace I had come to know.

I now know that I have to constantly remind myself when things get shakey of who God is to me. He is the Great I am, He is the creator of all things, the anchor of our souls ( Hebr 6:9), everything becomes alive in our lives through Him. We need to keep our focus on He who is stationary in our lives, He who will bring balance to our lives, He who will keep us steady, that when the waves come, they will merely wash over us. " You rule the raging sea, when its waves rise, you quieten them." ( Psalm 89:9).  Your peace is found in Him, do  not let the circumstances in your life make you lose your bearings, your peace is found in a relationship with Him. You are partners with Jesus Christ ( 1 Cor 1:30), you are not alone, even if you may mess up, He is saying He will get you out of the mess. All you have to do is keep your eyes on Him and trust in His ability. I am not sure if you have noticed that I used the word "Him" a lot here, I did it purposefully because I want you to realise that once you shift focus from "me, me, me" and , make it about " Him, Him, Him" something magnificent happens, as you seek more of Him your worries begin to drown in His unfailing love as He begins to bring peace into your life through His word and works. Trust goes a long way, with no trust there will be no partnership.

 

Honey you were blood bought, you are now part of Christs team, do not let things or people distract you, keep Him  the center of all in your life. 

You are a part of a wisdom filled team, not only are you winning, you are LOVED. *POW WOW* 

Get eggshited about love this Easter

I don’t think that there is anyone who can talk about God and not mention or think of the word “love”, He is the epitome of what true love is. I actually think that when we look up the meaning of love in the dictionary it should just say: GOD.  With the Easter weekend coming up it only made sense to me to go deeper in the way in which He loves us.

Would it sound crazy if I told you that  at 27  going on 28, I can honestly say that I have never experienced true romantic love, now this is not because have never dated or opened myself to it. It’s simply because I was too quick in giving my heart to boys ( a man would have know what to do with it and what not to do with it). I did this because I convinced myself that the intense feelings I had towards them was love. This led into believing that they too loved me, but I had it all twisted. Being emotionally manipulated is not love, being shoved is not love, being used and not of use is not love, being cheated on is not love, having to put up with their exes is not love, being ignored is not love, being afraid to say what is on your mind with the fear of them walking away is not love, being placed second to their friends is not love, I could go on and on about all the things love is not, but that is not the point of this message. Love is from God so it is deep and amazing, not shallow and destructive.  Having dealt with what I call an” oopsy” that left me slightly wounded recently, God spoke to my heart and told me that I need to understand what love is all about so that I do not fall for phonies anymore.  I need to know what love is so that I know what I can do for love and what He says I can expect from a man who has also experienced His love. I now see that I am meant to give my heart to a person who is also after Gods heart so that they know how to take care of mine.  Through reading Song of Songs 1 (I urge you to do the same, your mind will be blown away), I learnt that love needs to be both in actions and words. True love doesn’t hold back, your heart wants to tell the universe when you are in love.  Taking a peek back at my failed relationships I see I was not mature enough to be in love. Like the woman in Song of Songs 1, I felt strong emotions towards the guys I was seeing, I was excited by the thought of him, but at the same time I had serious insecurity issues, these drove me to compromise myself – an independent, opinionated,  driven woman, to a “yes” woman, all of this just so I didn’t emasculate them. Now I see why I was frustrated most of the time, boys frustrate women, that’s why real men should rise and claim their brides. A real man will pick you all the time, not sometimes based on the mood they woke up in on that day or peoples opinions. “Like a lily among thorns, so is my true love among the young women.” (Song of Songs 2:2). He will take the lead, look after you and show you off in a crowd. “He leads me into a banquet room and looks at me with love.” (Song of Songs 2:4). Although it’s Solomon poem about his love for a woman, I saw so much of God in these verses. He has so much adoration towards us as His bride, He expressed this through words and showed us in the flesh when He gave His only son for us.

I have to admit that the older I get the more I feel the pressure to “settle down”, but the truth of the matter is that things don’t always go the way you planned in your head. Where I am I can either choose to feel sorry for myself or take His instructions when it comes to me finding love as something wonderful as opposed to being a stumbling block,  an enemy of progress. See we need to get to a place where we see our worth through His eyes,  if we were worth what we assume we are worth or the way someone makes us feel we are worth,  then we would not measure up to being blood worth, because honey that is priceless.  A very dear friend of my, Kene, helped me put things into perspective when it comes to the matters of the heart ( I cannot stress how important it is to guard it, guard it with all that you have, do not leave space for people to walk in and taint it). She basically made me understand why it was taking time for me to get over my “oopsy”, she made an analogy of having feelings for someone and rock climbing. You cannot let go of the rock you are holding onto until you have another rock to grab onto in order to move forward.  It made me think, before I would have easily jumped into something with someone else, but I want more these days because I am worth it, so a replacement is definitely not what I need, I know how that goes… soon I will have to find a replacement for the replacement.  If you identify yourself in me, I am going to tell you one thing: Allow God to be that rock that you hold onto, but you have got to let go of the one you are holding onto at the moment, if that person is not reciprocating the feelings LET THEM GO, DELETE THEIR NUMBERS, UNFOLLOW THEM, UNFRIEND THEM, you do not owe them an explanation, stop enabling them to make you look thirsty, besides God is your source and He never runs dry.  Clearly they have no intention of showing you the kind of love God talks about, do not force matters, you will not find someone in a place they are not, so why in the world are you looking for them there? “Young woman of Jerusalem, swear to me by the gazelles or by the does in the field that you will not awaken love or arouse love before its proper time. (Song of Songs 2:7). Become Gods and let Him become yours before becoming someone else’s. Learn about the kind of love He has for you, let that be the base of your relationships. Place Him first, the same way He places you first, to Him you are always number one. Once you have a solid foundation of you love story then you will be mature enough to be in love with the man or woman of your dreams.

Remember Gods love does not come with conditions, allow Him to love you first before expecting a man to love you.

His love was spilled for you…. True love. * POW WOW

  

Mirror, mirror on the wall, show me the reflection of my soul

Standing in front of my mirror as I was getting ready for my day, I wondered what I would look like if the mirror actually showed me a reflection of my soul as opposed to my physical exterior. Now imagine what you would look like if the mirror showed you the true you,because that’s what your soul is, your total self.

Reflecting back to the time I re-committed my life to God I saw that there were still  many things I did and attempted to hide them. Having been born again, but still did things my way, or friends’ way, or lovers’ way, basically disregarding Gods way. The only difference between how I did things before I was born again and after I was born again was that after encountering Jesus Christ I became “shy” of doing things I knew I shouldn’t be doing, whereas before I couldn’t have been bothered with my actions. Other than that difference there was nothing different about my behavior, what was different was the feelings my behavior brought about. What was once “harmless” fun had become something that I felt bad about doing either during or after, something had begun happening to me internally (soul) but my external( flesh) was still the same, it still craved what  I had introduced to it over the years . There was a war happening between my immortal being and my mortal being, I thought that maybe if I fed my mortal being in private I would be fine.  I was so wrong, see what happened is that the more I fed my flesh the less I could hear Gods voice (I was robbing my spirit of what was keeping it alive).  It became very apparent to me that God does not speak in the dark, He does everything in the light, light symbolises godliness and goodness. “This is the message we heard from Christ and are reporting to you: God is light, and there isn’t any darkness in Him. If we say ‘We have a relationship with God’ and yet live in the dark, we’re lying. We aren’t being truthful” (1 John 1:5-6).  I actually thought I had my sins under control because I was not doing them as frequent, as apparent and loud as before.  Boy was I wrong, instead of spending my time and energy on getting to know this amazing saviour who had come to my rescue from I life that I was tired of living, I was spending my time and energy coming up with ways to hide my sins. “For the lighting, you must command the Israelites to bring you pure, virgin olive oil so that the lamps won’t go out.” (Exod 27:20). Olive oil is used many times throughout the bible to symbolise a number of things, the one I would like to refer to is the time after the flood and the dove brought back an olive branch to Noah, showing the promise of renewed life and new beginning, as the waters had washed away all that which did not please God. God wants us to live in the light in other words in Him, by continuously filling ourselves with His promises, His words, His ways and His love.

When you become overwhelmed by the battle you face up against your flesh remember that like the baby eagle carried on its mothers wings, God will carry you on His mighty wings. Like the baby eagle, we are all on a journey. We reach a certain point in our walk with Jesus where He will push us out of our comfort zone in order for us to grow from strength to strength ( this is called maturity, when He knows you are ready He will reveal more things to you, but they will require more from you).  Very much like what the mother eagle does for her eaglet. See there comes a point in the life of an eaglet where the mother no longer brings food to the nest for it like she did when it was still very young. She will remain motionless above the nest to show her eaglet just how strong the wings attached to their backs are ( I would imagine trying to stay motionless in the sky is pretty much like planking, looks easy but requires a lot of strength). Eaglets have to be taught how to fly, if they aren’t they will spend the rest of their lives walking on the ground, I assume they would not live for long as they were not designed for that kind of life. In our walk with God we need to be taught godly ways as we are born into sin. If we are not, then we will continue in low living and killing our spirits. We have to be born again in the spirit in order for us to learn from our teacher Jesus, like the mother eagle, He demonstrated  to us by showing how a child of God should live. Back to the eagles, after the mother has demonstrated, she goes to her nest and pushes  the eaglet close to the edge ( does that sound similar to what God does?), then suddenly pushes it out of the nest. Now picture an eagles nest, unlike many birds who build their nests in trees, it builds its nest high up on the mountains, so if the eaglet was to touch down there is no way it would survive. The mother flies down in lightning speed and catches her baby on her back before it hits the ground. The reason she does this is because she knows that they are meant to fly, but the eaglet just doesn’t know yet. She lets them fall BUT doesn’t let them hit the ground… (tell me you see where I am going with this). After pushing the eaglet the mother puts it back into the nest, she then starts taking out sticks from the nest because she knows as long as the eaglet is comfortable, it will not learn how to fly, eventually the eaglet will have no room to stand on and will drop out the nest and if it had been paying attention to it's mother, will flap its wings and fly.

I had read the bible many a-time but still didn’t understand why my life was still falling apart. I mean it didn’t make sense at all, I was told that the only way I was going to know God was by reading His word and talking to Him through prayer, then why in the world was there no change in my life, if anything it appeared to be getting worse. I learnt something from the eagles, it’s all a matter of action. When you read the word and do the word then only will you see changes in your life.  (Read Exod 19:1-6). Once you take the first step and obey His word it becomes easier and you will not see Him as a God who punishes you and wants to wretch your life. He like the mother eagle does everything to better your life, so that  the true you starts to reflect. Not the one that was influenced by the world and had taken mold based on what others say and do.” You have seen yourselves what I did to Egypt and how I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to my mountain.” Don’t expect the worst from God, He is not standing there with a whip so that when you make a mistake He is ready to hit you. Instead He wants you to learn from them to become better. There is a reason why He pushes you, why He wants you to move out of your comfort zone, why certain relationships have to end, why you need to move on. Obeying Him will not lead to your demise, He will be there to catch you when you fall and place you on higher heights. Picture the view… It’s okay to fall, but know that you will rise at His feet and soar like the mighty eagle you were made to be.  Let Him be your mirror, allow Him to reflect your true image.

The love of God will catch you always.*POW WOW

Catching your feelings

Living everyday being led by feelings can not only drive you crazy because feelings continuously change, but they can lead to you making hasty decisions. The thing about feelings is that they are based on whatever is happening around you and not in you.  So gaining control over what you allow yourself to feel is very important. This starts with controlling what you think about because what we think about determines how you feel. 

I am guilty of letting my emotions get the better of me, to a point where staying in bed seemed like the best thing for me to do… a whole day wasted. Sadly I am one of those people who cannot function when things are not hanky-dorey... My daddy and I are working on it, trust me I do not have it all together. I was convinced that I was falling back into a state of depression. Having been diagnosed with medical depression before, I was sure I was falling back into the same dark hole.  According to me all the “symptoms” were there, my mind being clogged up with nonsense, insecurities, comparing myself to others, loneliness, emptiness, basically feeling completely worthless. Normally I would call up my tattoo artist and get inked, but this time something within me told me that no medication ( so there goes the idea of calling my shrink up for a session and hopefully she would throw in a prescription of the good stuff), no needle work ( mind you don't get it twisted, I love my art work,  I rate it spoke for me when I couldn’t, notice I say “spoke” now I have found my voice through Jesus, so any ink I get now will just be an extension of what I have to say, not a platform for me to say something) would “fix” me this time… Those were temporary solutions. I needed a permanent solution, which I knew wouldn't be an instant thing, it would require some effort from me this time.

As you read this please do not think for a moment that I disregard depression, because trust me I know what it leads to when not treated correctly. The type of depression I am talking about is the one I was “going through”. Like I mentioned before as a person who went through professionally diagnosed depression I was sure I was going through it again, then I opened my bible to Luke 24:13-35. By the end of reading this chapter I realised depressed is not what I was, what I really was is SPIRITUALLY SICK- my spirit was depressed. I say sick because even after I had fully committed my life to God, I did not recognise who He is to me, what I recognised were the crippling thoughts that I had allowed to invade my head thus making me feel  debilitated. My spirit was not healthy therefore there was no way it would have produced anything healthy because I was using the wrong medication to heal it. I was like the disciples who were so caught up in their sadness on their way to Emmaus after the crucifixion that they did not realise that the one they had been talking to on the road was in fact Jesus Christ.  They were so glued to their heartbreak that they had forgotten what He had said to them prior to His death. It was only after Jesus broke the bread at the table where they were all seated, did they realise who had been in their presence all along. The breaking of bread is done in remembrance of what Jesus did for us on the cross, His body was broken so that we can be whole-whole from heartache, whole from sickness, whole from anything that hinders us from concentrating on our relationship with God, ( 1 Cor 11:24). It all leads back to the cross. As Gods beloved children, we need to fully understand what that means. For Jesus to enter into His glory He had to suffer on our behalf, (Luke 24:26). So does it not make sense that for us to get to where we need or want to be we have to endure the good with the bad? Does it not mean that we need to see all that we go through as a gift from Him as He is preparing us for our good and His glory?

We need to recognise God, (like fully recognise Him)and who He is to us and we need understand His role in our lives. For us to move into greatness, we need to stop allowing negative thoughts brew in our minds as they play on our feelings and we end up losing focus of the main thing. The sadness, the insecurity, the anger, the uncertainty, the heartbreak, the rejection etc, are the feelings we need catch, gain control of and chuck before they begin to manifest in our lives. I urge you to be relentless in finding Him, it starts with a change in attitude, recognise the difference between acting on feelings and acting on wisdom…  One of them is more informed than the other.  Try something new with me, instead of seeing a bad situation as simply that, a bad situation, begin to see the bigger picture, God would not bring you to a place just to abandon you. So instead of dwelling on the negativity of the situation, praise Him even when it hurts like hell, because feelings are temporary but victory is made eternal when you see God in everything. Honey that break up is setting you up for your Boaz or your Proverbs 31 Woman, that declined application is showing you God has bigger plans for you, those who walked away from  you is an indication that where God is taking you, you couldn't take them with their season in your life is over.  Trust that He is fully involved in your life as you begin to recognise Him as He has recognised you.

His love was spilled on the cross for you, that's how deep His love is for you. *POW WOW

Living under His Grace and Mercy-Trust 2/2

Trust to me is the main  ingredient in any relationship. If you do not have trust in someone or something you are bound to be in constant mind battle. Lack of trust opens doors for your mind to go into a state of paranoia. Think about when you do not trust a certain person, are you not continuously suspicious of their intentions? Or when a car looks dodge, would you go into it with a peaceful mind? I don't think so. Trusting God is the main ingredient for you to experience royal living.

The thing is, what you dwell on in your mind and heart is what you dwell in...So you need to gain control of what you allow your mind to think about. You are called to live a life that is free through God. He has given you they keys to His Kingdom, how about you start unlocking those doors and experience the goodness that is His love for you. He loves you soooo much that He offers Mercy and Grace to you, all He wants you to do is believe and trust that the faith that you have in Him is bound to produce fruit, see we all have something within us that others need, we just need to release it( thus becoming fruitful). According to the Merriam Websters dictionary definition Grace is: "unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification." Mercy: Is an act of compassion or leniency towards an offender ( paraphrased) . God uses everything for good, " We know all things work together for the good of those who love God." ( Rom 8:28). God wants you to base the worth of your life on your faithfulness and not on your circumstances. This would mean looking to Him (whole heartedly looking to Him) when things become to heavy for you to carry, instead of looking to other means for relief. I would like for us to take a look at Habakkuk 3:17-18,  we see why looking to Him when things are difficult , falling apart, you are hurting, feeling empty, feeling rejected, tired etc, is the best thing you could ever do for yourself when you are faced with mountains in front of you. Think of how easy a deer can climb a mountain. The Lord is saying that He  can do that for you, give you the grip you need, protection for your feet, stamina to keep going, so you can stand at the top of the mountain, enjoy the view as you take in the fresh air and " rejoice in our suffering because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope." ( Rom 5:3-4) .Trust and yield your life to God and He will go before you and you will be able to climb higher and higher on the mountains that stand around you.

Although it took some breakdowns, over-indulging, medication and rebellion for me to see that my only source of refuge and salvation can only be found in God, see I had lost trust in Him because I felt betrayed by Him for allowing suicide to take someone very precious to me. As I asked the Holy Spirit to help me understand why that happened, so much began to be revealed to me. For those who know me personally, will know just how much I adored my dad, so much so that I in a way placed him above God. The reason why I say this is because His opinion mattered so much to me, what I did was mainly driven to impress him, he was my idol... Allow me to explain. We tend to think of "idols" only being religious gods, but I have news for you, an idol can be ANYTHING and ANYONE you hold in higher regard to God, you might not even know it. The dangers of only going to people( friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc) or things ( alcohol, drugs, clubs etc) when things don't go well is, what happens when they are no longer around or have run out? Make Gods word a part of your everything, it never runs out nor will it ever leave you. Remember that He will never walk away from you, so check yourself when you feel He has " abandoned" you, He is not the one who walked away , you are. Through everything I have learnt to praise Him ( Read Zeph 3:14-17), I have learnt to go back to basics, trusting the Lord with all that I am. I used to think that without my dad I would be lost, but my heavenly father found me and gave me peace in that with Him as anchor, any wave that comes my way will only wash over me and not topple me over. 

I wish I had seen God as my assurance as opposed to my insurance a long time ago. For the longest time I looked at God as protection from loss, as my management for risk as I was not sure of what the future entailed. What I should have done was see Him as my assurance " a strong and definite statement that something will happen or something is true" - Merriam Webster dictionary. Now you need to ask yourself something, is He just there just in case something goes bad and He needs to make sure you are covered, or is He covering you so  that if something bad comes you will not be shaken? Can you confidently say that you are rooted in Him, so no matter what storm or wind you will not be uprooted? " The seed planted among thorn bushes is another person who hears the word. But the worries of life and deceitful pleasures of riches choke the word so that is can't produce anything" You might hear and understand the word of God but if you let your worries ( what if this happens? what if I don't get the job? what if he/she leaves me? Too many what ifs) speak louder to you than God, His word cannot be of help to you, too much noise in your head. It is time to quieten them down. The verse also tells us that feeding our flesh desires chokes Gods word out of us. This is true, I am going to take you along with me as I go down memory lane. See for a long time I had fed my flesh, I couldn't wait till Friday to go out " skud my biscuit". Man I loved being the life of the party, for the simply fact that I liked the attention, male attention to be exact. Don't get me started on the amount of shots I would take just to look cool,  a person my size being able to hold her liquor, lets not forget the " being caught up in the moment'. The sad thing about all this was I was getting to a point where it didn't eat at me as much, the more I did it the less I started to care ( can you say choke!), every time I fed my flesh the word of God, the one I was so crazy about back in 2009 when I became born again, was no longer my source of happiness. Instead it was getting replaced by nonsense. I thank God for reeling me back to Him, no matter what, He didn't allow me to stay lost at sea, and He used any mean necessary so I could re-align myself with Him, by the way there is nothing more special about me, He can do that for you too, just let Him in. We need to stop worrying about our image, relationships, job, status, because worry shows a lack of confidence in what He can do in our lives, look at Him as assurance and not insurance. 

Worry is normally accompanied by doubt, doubt limits Gods work in our lives. " He couldn't work any miracles there except to lay His hands on a few sick people and cure them. Their unbelief amazed Him" (Mark 6:1-6). I had to confess to God that I had doubt in Him, I was unsure of what He could do in my life so I can find joy again. I am allowing Him to relieve my stress by revealing Himself to me and providing for my needs. Join me in accepting that He loves you and watch Him as He takes away our doubt by working miracles in our lives. The same God we serve today is the same God who made provision for those who were rescued out of Egypt. He is Jehovah Jireh, so providing for your every need is not a hobby for Him, it is a full time job. There are times when being a godly-girly makes me want to throw in the towel and then I am reminded of where I come from, the Holy Spirit shows me of how my needs have been taken care of and doesn't want me to be like my ancestors who were delivered out of Egypt. Even after God took care of their needs they still sinned against Him by worshiping false god, sinned sexually and desired evil, ( read 1 Cor 10:1-13).  Trust that God will send the Holy Spirit as a reminder to wait on Him. He is clearing the path for you, so whatever temptation you face, anything that is not of Him, you will overcome it. Your life depends on the trust you have in Him.Run with endurance the race God has set before you. Keep your eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. When you place your focus on Him you will see the storms in your life  calm down, this is not something magical, it's merely you getting your priorities in line, (Phil 4:10-14). I know this because once I decided to rid myself of a person who constantly lived in my thoughts ( guys thinking about a guy that rejected you, didn't consider you, hurt your feelings and still acted like a chop even after you have extended the olive branch is one of the most annoying thing ever), a sense of peace came over me.  I got to a place where I didn't want to miss out on eternity with God by making my problem the focus of my attention.  Do not let the hurts you have experience rob you of what God has to offer you. You can be sure in Him and be sure that He will not leave you. " God is our God for ever and ever, He will be our guide even to the end." ( Psalm 48:14).  Do not let rejection affect your faith in Him, He will always choose you, all you have to do is choose Him. You are His chosen.

God loves you so much, be sure in that. *POW WOW

Backtracking the journey- Trust 1/2

I would like to take you back to where it all started... I rate it only makes sense and what I share with you as time goes on will also make sense, it all ties in. 

This is for all those who have just joined me and  for those who were not  into reading my loooong Facebook status updates , I am going to share what has been revealed to me with the hope that you too can begin your journey in allowing God to reveal Himself to you. I have broken "TRUST" into 2 parts for you, here goes part 1. 

My journey started with me learning to trust in the Lord to be my all. Being a person that had serious trust issues, I knew for me to fully submit my life to God I would have to learn to trust Him. You might ask yourself how in the world are you meant to trust something or someone you have never seen. It boils down to FAITH, asking Him to open your eyes, the eyes of your heart so that you can see Him.

As a young woman I have on many occasion placed my faith in people ( especially men)who have done all but stick to the promises they made to me, ( most recent promise I got was " I promise to guard your heart more"-what a lie, first opportunity he got he took that very heart and trampled all over it. Of all my "men-induced" heartbreak, the worst had to be the one  experienced when my papa wasn't able to see beyond his problems and concluded it was best he were no longer around. Even with that, my love for him has not been altered ( he is still the keeper of my heart - true love knows not end). During my bleak moments earlier this year I have had to battle my thoughts over and over again ( I will be discussing why having control of your thoughts is very important in the weeks to come), my prayers began to be more of a time where I wallowed in my pain instead of it being a time to release my pain. The broken trust I had towards men lead to a broken trust filled relationship with God. The only way anyone can gain your trust is through truth... That was an "Einstein" moment for me, Jesus says that " I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."-John 14:6. Now if I was going to trust God I needed to know the truth, and what better way than digging in His word, truth straight from the source.

Have you ever found yourself complaining about where you are in life or what is happening in your life at the present moment? Did it ever occur to you that you are exactly where God wants you to be? Rom 8:28 clearly states that " all things work together for the good of those who love God." As His children we need to believe that His love for is greater than anything we have ever encountered, so everything we go through went through Him first, so surely He has equipped us to get through it. We are His priced possession ( proof is in John 3:6). God will take you out of your Egypt, this could be anything you struggle with such as, booze, addiction, anger etc or something that is not for you, relationships, job , friendships etc. You need to trust God and put it all into His hands, give it to Him, He has your back even more than you have your own back, I mean lets face it you let yourself down sometimes, He is telling you that He will NEVER let you down. As crazy as it may sound, let go and let God, wait on Him. Do not let the temptation of taking matters into your own hands when things are spiraling out of control get the better of you. Lets learn from Moses, in Numbers 20:8 , God told him to TELL the rock to give them water ( this when they are in the desert having being rescued from Egypt), but we read that Moses STRUCK the rock. We further read that Moses asks the people if HE  and HIS brother should bring water out of the rock ( Num 20:10). Now take this lesson from Moses, he  didn't listen to God, instead of telling the rock ( This could be seen as symbolic of Jesus) to give him water he struck the rock ( he was hurting God for the benefit of the world and his own desires-pretty much what we do at times). Taking matters into our own hands in more times than not ends in disaster ( reason being is that you are most likely emotionally lead and not spiritually lead), ( Num 20:12-13). Then we want to shift blame onto others and most commonly onto God Himself. All He wants us to do is tell Him what we want so that He can give it to us, and if He doesn't give us what we specify He will give us something even better! It's time you recognize the hardships you go through as an opportunity to grow your faith and allow God to use them as a testimony in your life. I am living proof of that, the only reason I am able to share this is because God has seen me through the horrid times and has entrusted me to share my stories so that others can be helped... Had I known this before I would have carried my burden and still praised Him because there is no greater feeling than knowing your purpose and fulfilling it.

Take that bold step , freedom is yours but you need to keep moving,once God has taken the shackles off, you need to stop living like you are still in bondage. You cannot be stuck on stupid , stuck on what ifs, stuck on memories, drop anything and anyone who brings you confusion. God is not a God of confusion He is a clear God. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.- Phil 4:3.

I am all for ploughing forward which means looking back is not an option ( anything that starts with "ex" ex-friend, ex-boyfriend, ex-fling, ex-addiction  remains a thing of a past). The reason is not solely because that's where they belong, the reason is because it robs me of taking responsibility for how things turned out because I will focus on how they wronged me or robbed me of my happiness,  and we know that shifting blame doesn't please God. I know am talking about not looking back but God had to take me back as reference, Genesis back, to where Adam shifted blame to Eve for their sins. See the spectacular thing about taking responsibility is that God takes it upon Himself to take responsibility for you ( Matt 11:30)- His yoke is easy honey.Trust that He will strengthen you when you place hope in Him. For all those who have hurt you and EXcused themselves from your life, know that they will be dealt ( Neh 4:-23).Focus on growth prayers, they are your life line in this thing called life.

Now that you know that God has your back and is looking out for you, you need to let go of the fear that has been worrying you. Think of Him as your Superman only He doesn't have any weakness, He is Omnipotent and He is just one prayer away. I speak of fear because it was something that I had to surrender to the Lord, being a person who loves people I would do anything for those I wanted in my life because I was scared of ever losing them. What this did to me was that I lost myself in being a people pleaser getting up to things that costed me financially and emotionally, put up with boys ( cause real men know what they want so would never string you along, they will merely take you with them on a memorable journey with purpose) who saw me as a garment in the shop that they could try on and then put back on the shelf, you cannot look for a person at a place when you know they are not there, let them go. Fear has made lead me into sinning against my body, others, my well-being and most of all God. Although it may want to visit me sometime, I have decided there is no place in my house for fear. It is very important to protect and guard your heart, not everyone you want to keep in your life is good for you, learn to be of use, not be used. " A person's fear sets a trap for him, but who trusts the Lord is safe" ( Prov 29:25). Wave anything that imparts fear into your life goodbye, do not devote yourself to the voice of fear, devote yourself to the voice of God. 

One of the many things I have noticed about putting my trust in God is that I have begun to worry less, this clearly shows that He is a God of His word. He has healed my broken heart and it no longer bleeds- I know this because I no longer feel anger towards the person who broke my heart, the tears are all dried up and I have no more questions because God has showed me my worth, He knows I am worth the blood of His son, so sorry I am not second best, I am His anointed  ( Psalm 147:3). I want you to know that you are too, so stop allowing others to put a price on you because you are of royalty. Trust that God will look after you, He does it with the flowers, the plants and animal, what more can He do for you as His child? ( Matt 6:28:32). Make a conscious decision each and everyday to not let your worries cloud your faith, remember each time your faith is tested that God is your God forever , He will guide you ( Psalm 48:14, forget your insecurities ( Prov 3:5-6), Submit to Him and He will work it ALL out for your good.

You are worth it and His love for you is infinite, trust in that and feel it, see how you will beginning falling in love with Him.

He loves you lots and lots and lots. *POW WOW*

           

Memoirs of a foolish Ladi

Allow me to introduce myself....

Hello there , my name is Ladi, I am what you would call a "recovering people pleaser, self-compromiser, self-comparer, enabler of my abuser and doubter' among other things. Besides all these negative "titles" , I am a loving, big-hearted person who is on a journey in finding the true meaning of love, the type of love that remains constant and does not see my faults as my weakness, but instead as an opportunity to encourage others and motivate them in becoming the best version of themselves. 

Many perceive me as a fun, bubbly person with a good sense of humor, indeed that are some of the traits I posses but there is more to me than " Ladi-dadi who likes to party". In the last 4 years I was showed what you call FLAMES. Give me a minute as I give you a brief account of the events that took place: 

• 2012- Involved in a fatal car accident
• 2013-Lost my dad to medical depression
• 2014-The end of a relationship that I thought would be "IT"
• 2015- My night life spiraled out of control leading to many poor choices that left me heartbroken... BUT the beginning of re-establishing my relationship with God. ( Can i get a whoop-whoop)

If anything the above has showed me the power of prayer, a parents prayer, I know that it was my moms prayers that kept me alive and safe when I was being reckless with my life... I know this because I sure was not praying ( I was too busy living a worldly life). One thing my mom has taught me is that there is nothing that can over-power a praying woman with faith in God no matter how high the tide may rise. We need to plug into the power of prayer for God to start moving in our lives.

I would like for you to make a decision today to allow God to be your adviser in all that you do.  I  say all because He is the center of all things therefore you cannot pick and choose when to seek council from Him. You need to get into that prayer room and seek Him with all that you are.

For the longest time I played a fool and thought that my peers could give me  informed advise on big decisions I had to make( now that I look back at it I cant help but feel like a dud, I mean there was no way that my peers could have had the same wisdom as God).  Now don't get me wrong friends are good and can give you a different perspective based on their personal opinion or experience, BUT their wisdom is not as ripe as the wisdom of the One who was here from the beginning...Lets take a look at an example of what taking advise from the not so wise can lead to.

In 2 Chronicles 10( I encourage you to please read it for yourself too), we see King Rehoboam son of Solomon who became king after his passing, being asked by the Israelites that he lessens their burden and in return they will continue to serve him. He seeks council from men older than him( carry more wisdom and their thinking is of maturity), what he should do. They advise him to honor their request and in return they will remain faithful in serving him . He also seeks advice from younger men ( probably of his age), who tell him that instead of lessening the burden he should intensify it. We can all imagine how unhappy the people of Israel were with this.  When all Israel saw that the king refused to listen to them, the people answered the king, " What share do we have in Davids kingdom? We won't receive an inheritance from Jesse's son. Everyone to his own tent,Israel! Now look after your own house, David!"-2 Chro 10:16.  The king was left with fewer servants than he started with and had many people who were against him, all of this could have been avoid if he had chosen to listen to those who knew better. 

Please understand that I am not saying that friends are out to harm you , well the real ones anyway. What I am saying is that you need to be aware that their advise might not be coming from an objective point of view, chance is they just want to make you happy and the advise they encourage you to take is an assumption of what they perceive will make you happy, or they might just be giving you advise from  the same heated place as you. I am going to share a story, there was a guy I was seeing who a couple of my ex-friends did not approve of, I was continuously told how  not good enough for me he was, wara-wara fish paste, as soon as I took their advise, one jumped right in  and all of a sudden others became really good friends with him... All of a sudden he was good. So peace of advice, seek council from someone who is removed from the situation, that has nothing to gain, even more important, seek council from someone who is going to advise you from a mature point. Pray to God to open your eyes that you are able to see and are not blinded by your desires or someone elses desires... See the bigger picture

Your decisions not only affect your today, they affect your tomorrow, God doesn't want you playing a fool, He made you smarter than that. Allow Him to be your go to through prayer and meditating on His word when things are unclear and you are uncertain of what you are to do. He will never lead you astray, He took time in creating you are has pride in His work, there is no way He will want to destroy that. 

The love of the God is just too awesome to keep to myself.
 He loves you soooo much. *POW WOW*